How to Find Forgiveness

Even without reconciliation.

Betrayal can be difficult to get past. It can send you through a whirlwind of emotions to find out that someone you put your trust in, confided in or tried to help; rewarded you by betraying your trust or disrespected you.

Not only is it hard to offer trust to that person, but it can lead you to question other areas of your life where you extend trust. If you were so wrong in believing that person, could you also be wrong in your decision-making with other people?

When you finally dig yourself out of all of the self-evaluation and find your way back to trusting yourself, then you are faced with how to let go of the betrayal.

It’s a crossroads we all find ourselves at once or twice, but not all of us are able to navigate it. Some people choose not to forgive and stay in that mistrustful, bitter energy for the remainder of their life. They remain suspicious of every person’s motives and keep everyone at a safe emotional distance.

It’s a way to live, however, when you are keeping the bad out, you are also not allowing the good in.

I believe the major barrier to forgiveness is feeling like you are condoning the behavior or “letting them off the hook”. They get to live their lives with no consequences for the damage they caused to you. It can feel like no retribution.

Here is the truth, there are no consequences or retribution unless they agree that what they did was bad. You have no control over whether they feel that or not.

Usually, when people do bad things to other people, they have already created a story in their mind that absolves their behavior. They have painted you as a problem they get to solve by the means they choose to solve it.

For example, if someone stole from you, they have probably created a story in their mind where you have more than enough that you won’t miss what they stole. Or, your life is much easier than theirs and they needed whatever they took more than you did.

They have somehow both made themselves the victim, desperate or superior and given themselves permission to act the way they did…

Related posts:

This article will provide you with the key concepts and foundational knowledge necessary to understand domain layer for enhancing Android app architecture.