Delayed Gratification Increases Anticipation

How to maximize your joy when you have to wait

Thanks to the internet putting so much of the world at our fingertips and overnight shipping of almost anything from anywhere, we have become a society used to instant gratification. We want something, we type a little, click on a couple of links and either get it immediately or know that it is on its way. But what about the things in life that just don’t work that way?

This new world of virtual dating can sometimes include a significant delay before potential matches meet in person. Especially if they live some distance apart. This usually occurs after both parties have gotten to know each other well enough to decide that it is worth investing the time and emotional capital in a face to face meeting.

For some, this delay seems frustrating and unnecessary, but for others, the delayed gratification of meeting someone they truly connect with first on an emotional level only heightens the pleasure with days or weeks of giddy anticipation.

So, if you find yourself in a situation where you aren’t able to experience the gratification you seek immediately, try to think about how you can stretch the pleasure out as long as possible with positive anticipation. Make plans. Think about contingencies. Pick out clothes. Look up restaurants and scan menues. Reread the best chat messages. Rewatch that video message or Marco Polo feed when your potential match said that perfect thing. Use the time to center yourself in all the good feelings. Imagine what it will be like when you finally meet. Write poems or manifestoes. Express your feelings howsoever the mood moves you and try to squeeze the joy out of every delayed moment.

Happy dating!

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