The Feelings Evoked by Different Words

As I progressed in my recent education as an English major, it became more apparent to me how our language affects our feelings, actions, perceptions, beliefs, and more. Even before that, I focused on self-improvement by creating affirmations and asking open-ended questions. The results blew my mind.

The most recent thing I’ve noticed is the use of “should” vs. “want” in many contexts, but particularly, texting with friends. For example, when a friend says, “we should hang out soon,” it evokes a certain feeling vs. when they say, “let’s hang out soon,” or “I’d like/love to hang out with you soon” and then they follow up with a question that leads to us scheduling friend time.

Do you notice a difference in the feeling you get when you read those options? Try reading each statement again as you imagine a friend. Now do it with a different friend, maybe your bestie. Any difference or too similar to tell?

Now think about that friend and the intention behind their words. What kind of difference does that make between a regular friend vs. your best friend?

Regardless of the friend, their intention matters, so even though “should” might have the feel of obligation, it doesn’t mean I believe that’s how they perceive spending time with me. I know they want to. At least I’m mostly confident that’s the case. Ha!

When I imagine those same friends using other words or phrases, especially “want,” I get fuzzy feelings because it throws all doubt away about how they feel. I feel most excited to make plans with them and especially cared for.

I’m not calling out any of my friends. I love them and tell them as much.

This does not mean I am requesting anyone to fret over picking just the right words. It’s more important to reach out and make a connection with someone we care about. I love to bring more awareness to others. In this case, regards to the words we choose and the feelings, perceptions, etc. they may evoke.

This is a topic that fascinates and delights me, so I am sure you can expect more. In a future post, I will expand on the power of open-ended questions and results I have experienced.

In the meantime, tell me your thoughts, experiences with this exercise, plus awareness you’ve had dissecting language. I’d love to hear!

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